Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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