And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize