you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
