We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
soo... how was my night?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
