i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
PANTIES FOUND
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