It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I have post one night stand depression
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
