I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize