pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I don't think brook has ever known best
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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