i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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