There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
