Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
