Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
