miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
