you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
