nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
The beer is more important than you right now.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
