This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
