For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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