google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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