She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
