So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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