but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
