You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Randomize
