if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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