I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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