We won't sleep together?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
