that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
