Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
