someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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