Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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