I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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