Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
