Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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