That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
