I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
