I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
