I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
