You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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