He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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