He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I checked into jail on foursquare
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize