I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Let's get the cat blown out
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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