another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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