I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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