this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
