I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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