Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
