You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
