My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
