I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
