I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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