from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
