too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize