dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
