You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
