guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
