What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
