just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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