So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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