i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
