I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
