It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
