All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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