She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
