I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Even my vagina gasped.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
