all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
