Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
