Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
