I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
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