remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
