hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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